Elicit Substance

I met some friends for breakfast over the weekend. Years ago we started out as co-workers so much of the conversation revolved around gossiping about people we used to work with.

One friend was talking about how a co-worker, now in another department, kept sending her "Friend Requests" on Facebook. For those who don't know how this works (including one sitting at the table with us), you start on Facebook with no friends and then you can go through your email address book looking on FB for people that you can request to be your friend. They can either accept this or decline this. If they accept, you wind up in the biggest time suck on the internet (apart from porn and hard-core gamers, that is) playing odd little games like "Farmville" where you plant things or a game like "Words for Friends" which can get you thrown off airplanes (like Alec Baldwin). If you just ignore a request, they can nag you until you either accept them or until you block them.

My friend was in a pickle about this Friend Request because she doesn't want to be friends with this person and doesn't want to read her "Status Updates" but wants to keep the peace at work. She said she's accepted her requests in the past and then deleted them, but this person doesn't get the hint and would always send a new friend request. I told her to do what I did to my niece who friended me - completely unsubscribe from her ALL of her updates. Yes, you can play Facebook just like "Real Life" in that you can pretend you're listening to someone and never really hear a word they say.

I went on to say, "This is my time on Facebook which I now have down to about 90 seconds including log in and log out time:

"Log in but appear OFFLINE so as to avoid any Chatty Kathys, answer previous messages, click as only as many "Likes" as necessary so, "LIKE-LIKE-SKIP-LIKE-SKIP-SKiP-LIKE"

"Then, copy and paste from the following:

• HAHA!
• THAT'S CUTE! (and the alternative HOW ADORABLE!)
• CONGRATULATIONS!
• WAY TO GO!
• SORRY TO HEAR THAT
• HAD A GREAT TIME
• GOOD SEEING YOU AGAIN!
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

"Then I LOG OUT."

It turns out that my friend does much the same thing and planned on implementing the "Copy and Paste" to further expedite the whole Loving-Community-that-is-Facebook-blah-blah process.

So here's my problem today... I am "LIKE"-ing things I don't really like because people I know and actually do like have asked me to do so. When one of my husband's second cousins (once removed) started writing songs and putting them on YouTube, his mom, whom I adore, started campaigning for her son - "Please LIKE his page and send it to your friends, please follow him on Twitter." Well, I like the kid but even though I LIKED his songs, I don't like his songs. They are good songs, just not my cup of tea and I can't finish listening to them. His tweets were so stupid that I eventually just deleted my Twitter account.

This whole "pretending to be a fan" charade drove me nuts until I discreetly Unliked his FB page and unsubscribed from his mom's music status updates. I still figure out what is going on from other family Status Updates, comments and "Likes."

Today I was supposed to watch Good Morning America so I could see his song featured on the show. I knew I'd be working and everyone said "DVR IT!" so I had to add a new reply to my list - "SOUNDED GREAT!" - because I never bothered to DVR the show to hear a song I didn't want to listen to. I LIKE his songs, I SHARE the links... I haven't been able to listen to one all the way through since his first release. I can say all of this because I know they've never read this blog, even though I've posted links to it on Facebook so I'm guessing they must not LIKE me either.

He's a VERY GOOD singer, but I just don't care about these types of songs, so now, I have to ask - does anyone else out there LIKE what you don't really LIKE? If so, what do you do or plan to do when/if you get cornered over it?

It has reminded me of another (real) friend who once LIKED a post that read, "THERE SHOULD BE A 'WHO GIVES A RAT'S ASS' BUTTON ON FACEBOOK.

Like.